First Impression

John: Before Thursday, I had only been to two places in my life where Christmas lights were still up in February: my college dorm room and Santa Claus, Indiana. I never thought I would be adding another name to that list, but now I can add Chaplins. I have to admit, my expectations weren’t exactly high for Chaplins and I have two reasons for that: one, I did karaoke there once, I sang Vanilla Ice, I embarrassed myself and I went home. Two, my friend was there for the Super Bowl; they had a hot dog bar. Nothing lowers the expectations of a restaurant reviewer like a hot dog bar. Now the surprising part, Tim and I walked in, we were served promptly and Chaplins even had a bargain lunch menu to order off of. Other than the fact that Chaplins has aged worse than Joan Rivers, I kind of liked the place once I sat down and took a look around.

Tim: If the tales of Super Bowl hot dog bars and Vanilla Ice karaoke didn't tip you off, Chaplins is nothing but a classic, old school bar. This was reinforced by the fact that Breech and I were the only patrons under 60 years old in there for lunch. There's a jukebox in one corner, a couple of TV's randomly hung on the wall, and the place was thoroughly embedded with the smell of cigarette smoke. There were no frills or fancy decorations - unless you count the Christmas lights. It was actually kind of charming in a way.

John: B+
Tim: B

Appetizers

John: Since it was lunchtime, we really didn’t do any appetizers. However, I’ll talk about our side dishes because Tim ordered seven of them. First up, the pasta salad. The pasta salad was the first thing I tasted at the table and as I mentioned in my first impression, I didn’t exactly have great expectations walking in. The pasta salad was perfect. The noodles were fresh and lightly basted with what I think was an Italian dressing. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t want to add 10,000 calories to your lunch in the form of french fries, then pasta salad is the way to go. On the other hand, there was the potato salad. It wasn’t horrible, but it was served with an ice cream scooper. There is a reason it’s called an ice cream scooper and not a potato salad scooper.

Tim: For some reason the ice cream scooped potato salad had a slight hint of fishiness to it. And I don't really want to know what that reason was. Needless to say I stopped eating it after two bites.

The pasta salad was very refreshing, but it does have black olives in it. However, if you're like me and you're not an olive fan, they are easy to avoid, and they don't pollute the rest of dish with their nasty olive-ness.

We also had the french fries. It's pretty hard to mess those up. Basically fries are going to be good if a) they're not raw in the middle and b) they aren't fishy. Chaplins' fries passed both tests.

John: B
Tim: B

Entrées

John: Here was the biggest surprise. For the main course, we ordered Fish and Chips, a Chili burger and a buffalo chicken Philly. The surprise? They were all pretty good. The fish and chips were a perfect portion. The thing you have to be afraid of when you order fish and chips is that the fish is all fried goodness and no fish. That wasn’t the case here. There was plenty of cod in my portion to keep me happy. Speaking of happy, that is an emotion you won’t feel if you’re on a diet and you try and eat the chiliburger.  It is a huge beef patty smothered in chili and topped with cheese and onions. Sure it was the caloric equivalent of eating 87 chicken nuggets, but it was phenomenal and worth it. Finally, ordering the Buffalo chicken Philly was my idea. Tim is against all things Buffalo (Bills, Sabres, wings) so I had to talk him into ordering this. The Philly was solid, and the buffalo sauce they add to it gave the sandwich a kick that spice aficionados will appreciate. By the way, the Philly and the fish and chips came off the lunch menu, which means each of them was only $5.99. Unless Victoria’s Secret is having their semi-annual sale, this is the best deal you will find in the area.

Tim: Nothing gets my triglycerides pumping like seeing the words "chili" and "burger" on the same line of the menu. The burger was good, but it needed two things - more cheese and more chili. At a place like Chaplins I was expecting that thing to be a sloppy mess of gooey cheese and meaty chili, but it was neatly put together with a small spread of chili topped with a sprinkle of grated cheddar.  It did have good flavor though. Breech is right about my distaste for Buffalo. I also hate giant snow drifts, O.J. Simpson and the Canadian border. However, the Buffalo chicken sandwich helped salvage the city's reputation because it was probably the tastiest thing on the table.

John: A-
Tim: B

Dessert

John: The menu at Chaplins said that they had pecan pie and cheesecake. I ordered pecan pie. Three minutes later, our server came to the table and informed me that there was no pecan pie. I am still seething. Tim ordered cheesecake. Tim loved his cheesecake. I took one bite of it, but I can’t tell you what I think because my heart wasn’t in it. I’ll let Tim talk about the dessert.

Tim: The cheesecake was topped with a warm chocolate sauce, which in this case was like finding some gold-plated cash - you can never get too much of a good thing. We can only imagine what the pecan pie tasted like, but compared to the cheesecake it would have sucked.

John: Not Applicable
Tim: A

Final Impression

John: Except for the whole pecan pie episode, I actually enjoyed myself at Chaplins. Sure the Christmas lights were out of season, but they didn’t affect the taste of my food. And the more I thought about the Super Bowl hot dog bar, the more excited I got. As a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee that there will be a hot dog bar at my next Super Bowl party (probably next to the nacho cheese bar). Finally, as is the case for most business lunches, you want to be in and out in a reasonable amount of time. Tim and I were in and out in less than an hour and this includes 12 minutes where Tim talked non-stop about some baby party that he was going to this weekend. I don’t even know what a baby party is. Bottom line here, if you haven’t checked out Chaplins in awhile and you like giant chiliburgers, now might be the time to go back.

Tim: Just keep in mind that when you go to Chaplins you're going to get some pretty typical bar food. It's designed to be consumed along with one or more (or many more) of your favorite adult beverages. Unfortunately we went at lunch, so water was our beverage of choice for the meal. But beer and bar food go together like fine wine and filet mignon, so in that sense Chaplins is the New York Prime of the bar world.

John: B+
Tim: B