First Impression

John: I’m not sure if this is the case with you, but when I hear the word tavern, the first thing that comes to my mind is alcohol. The second thing that comes to my mind is breaking a bar stool or a pool stick over someone’s head. Unfortunately, I broke neither over Copsey’s head. I’ve never been to Crabapple Tavern before (apparently Copsey is a regular) so I had no idea what to expect. Would it be like Homer Simpson’s favorite hangout, Moe’s Tavern? Or would it be like an actual restaurant? Five seconds after you walk in, the answer will be obvious to you; Crabapple is an actual restaurant. Yes, there is a bar there, but in case you have kids, there’s also a nice dining room. The walls in the restaurant made the place look like it had been submerged under water for the last month (which is completely possible since we’ve gotten more rain in the last two months than Noah got in his lifetime). Anyway, I was told the walls were designed to look like that. You know, to fit the tavern motif. I thought this was brilliant. I’ve never designed anything in my life and I hate HGTV, so when I call decorations brilliant, they could actually be the opposite of that.

Copsey: I should clarify what John means by “regular.” I have been to the Crabapple Tavern several times, but only to drink. I had not eaten there. So when we were scratching our heads about where to go this week, I suggested we go there. Like so many of my suggestions, it was great. The overall feel of the place is as if the designer wanted to go for “dingy underground bar” mixed with “upscale, family-friendly.” I think it’s comfortable. So did the several other patrons who were there – this place is completely invisible from the road, meaning anyone who goes there either got lost and stumbled upon it, or heard of it through word-of-mouth. 

John: A-
Copsey: A

Appetizer

John: There are 18 appetizers on the menu. This is a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing: there are lots of options. The bad thing: it took us 45 minutes to decide on three. If you want to order more than three, bring a tent because you will be there all night trying to decide. We went with the Shrimp and Grits, the Fried Zucchini and the Fried Ravioli. Fried zucchini is something that we’ve never had. There are only two things in my life that I have never liked: zucchini and the Friends spinoff ‘Joey.’ Both put me in a bad mood. However, I have to say, fried zucchini changed my whole belief system. Down is now up, black is now white, zucchini is now good. The vegetable was only lightly breaded, so it wasn’t good because it was fried. It just became softer and more tender. Isn’t that what wives want their husbands to be? Anyway, I loved it. Fried ravioli is also a great invention. It was cheesy and served with marinara sauce, you really can’t go wrong with this fried pasta. I wasn’t a big fan of the shrimp and grits, so I’ll let Copsey talk about it.

Copsey: Let me get one thing straight: It was John who insisted we order the only two fried appetizers on the menu. If it’s fried, he’ll eat it. I ordered the shrimp and grits. There were four decently sized shrimp submerged in a red pepper cream sauce and grits. I’m not a fan of grits, but the pepper cream sauce had me practically licking the bowl. A little spice topped with the shrimp made for a tasty starter to the meal.

John: B+
Copsey: A-

Entrées

John: I have 11 mouthwatering words for you: Chili Rubbed Flat Iron Steak, Fish Fry and Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. We wanted to be as diverse as possible when ordering. Steak, fish, chicken, the only way this could have been more diverse is if we ate kangaroo or buffalo. People who love Buffalo chicken sandwiches (like myself) will order them anywhere. The Crabapple Tavern Buffalo sandwich is grilled (bonus for you healthy eaters out there like Jared from Subway. Seriously Jared, eat somewhere else already) and the Buffalo sauce won’t incinerate your tongue. It’s just hot enough to keep you happy. The fish fry could have been all breading, but it wasn’t, there was a lot of fish in there. I don’t think I need to describe the taste too much. If you like fried food, you will like this dish. As a matter of fact, I will be a Crabapple regular come Lent. Not that I’m Catholic. I just think that February would be a good time to start visiting the restaurant once a week. Copsey ordered the steak, so I’ll let him talk about it.

Copsey: I think this was maybe the first place we’ve been to where we both agreed every dish was good. Usually there’s a disagreement (notice how he had the fish fry? More fried food. He could order a fried brick and love it). The steak was chili rubbed, which added a little kick to the meat, but the spice was so subtle that, eaten with mashed potatoes, it was almost lost. Almost. We had a side of asparagus with it as well (it was green, so John mostly glared at it), and it was a perfect complement to the steak and mashed potatoes, served in a hot butter and just the right amount of crunch to know it’s properly done.

John: A
Copsey: A

Desserts

John: We went with the apple pie. I’ve noticed that lately, restaurants have stopped serving apple pie. It’s an apple crisp now and it’s served in a small pan. Well, I hate the apple crisp, I want nothing to do with it and if a restaurant ever serves me one, I will give it away. The good news: Crabapple doesn’t do this. They served up some good old fashioned pie. Flaky crust, hot apple filling, ice cream on top. Let’s cue Will Ferrell in Old School, “That’s the way you do it, that’s the way you serve apple pie.” Although in Old School, Ferrell says ‘debate’ instead of ‘serve apple pie,’ but you get the point.

Copsey: What more is there to say? That’s certainly the way you do it.

John: A
Copsey: A-

Final Impression

John: When I said in the introduction that Copsey was a regular, I wasn’t kidding. Someone walked by and asked Copsey if he had been at the Tavern the prior Sunday with his family. This was shocking for two reasons: one, I thought Copsey’s family lived north of London and two, I’ve never seen Copsey in public. There are employees at Crabapple Tavern that have seen the guy in public and, after one and a half years of working together, I still haven’t. Anyway, here’s what you’ll like about Crabapple Tavern: they have an extensive menu, lots of alcohol, reasonable prices and food that your kids will like. I think that’s called the trifecta. I know I named four things, but I don’t think quadfecta is a word.

Copsey: It certainly is not a word. I’m sure this is going to sound pretty biased (since I’m a regular), but I like the place. I’ve been there before this review and I’ll go there after. Maybe I’ll play a game and see just how many readers spot me up there? If I get more than 10, John will shave his head.

John: A-
Copsey: A