First Impressions
John: My parents tell me I’m 50 percent Mexican. Now, no one I know believes this and they haven’t provided any blood tests, but it seems like a silly thing for them to lie about. Anyway, you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this rant on my ethnic background. It’s leading to this story: when it comes to Mexican restaurants, I judge them in the first five seconds I’m in there based on three criteria: If three or more waiters look more Mexican than me, I know I’m in for a good meal. If the chips and salsa are on the table in less than 12 seconds, I know I’m in for a good meal.  And if our server speaks broken English with a slightly Spanish accent, I know I’m in for a good meal. Check, check and check.

Oh, and it didn’t hurt that the place was absolutely packed and our free chips and salsa still found their way to the table in under three seconds (much faster than my 12 second limit).

Tim: My parents tell me I’m one eighth Turkish. But that has nothing to do with this review.

El Azteca makes a solid impression. It does its best to make you feel like you’re in Mexico. Or at least what most Americans picture Mexico as being. The interior walls are painted to look like aged, faded stucco, and there’s plenty of mariachi music playing in the background. Those things put El Azteca in a tie for first (along with every other Mexican restaurant I’ve been to) for the closest thing to Mexico itself that I’ve ever experienced.
John: A-
Tim: B

Appetizers
John: In the movie Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby talks about having a nacho cheese fountain at his wedding (something I’m sure Tim did). If that’s his plan then he may want to have El Azteca cater it. If you’re ordering an appetizer, you have a choice between nachos and quesadillas, what you don’t have a choice on is cheese. If you don’t like cheese, then I highly suggest you don’t order an appetizer. That is unless you like vegetarian quesadillas (which don’t have cheese). But if you like vegetarian quesadillas, then you’re probably a vegetarian which means a Mexican restaurant isn’t the best place for you to be anyway. On that note, we ordered the shrimp quesadillas and some jalapeno cheese dip. Both were tasty, but the quesadillas came out half way through our main course. Now I’m not a server, but I’m pretty sure the appetizer is supposed to come out first. What are your thoughts on that Tim?

Tim: Who doesn’t want a fountain of cheese? That’s way classier than those chintzy champagne fountains.
As for the quesadilla, I’m pretty sure they forgot about it. Or else their shrimp sheller was running late. Either way it was no big deal. The thing came out piping hot and it tasted…well, like everything else basically. But it was good.
John: B
Tim: B

Entrées
John: Tim pretty much picked everything we ordered and I’m not sure why, but it’s because I was still in shock that Tony Almeida went bad again on 24.

Anyway, we went with the enchiladas supremas, a chalupa-taco platter and Tim’s favorite – fish tacos. And if fish tacos aren’t Tim’s favorite, he had me fooled. I felt like he wanted these things more than Susan Lucci wanted her first daytime Emmy. 

The supremas was my favorite, mostly because of the variety. There were four enchiladas on the plate and they were filled with four different things: chicken, beef, beans and cheese. Each one offered its own unique flavor that made me want to keep eating. The chicken in the chicken taco (the taco that came with the Chalupa) was moist and soft, which is how chicken should be.

As for the fish taco, it was much tastier than I thought it was going to be, it came with a green sauce (poblano tartar sauce for those of you who like to identify things by formal names rather than color) that has to be used.

Tim: Here’s a little secret about the Dining Duo. I always pick what we eat. That’s because Breech is more indecisive than a college freshman choosing a major.

I wasn’t impressed with the fish taco (too fishy) or the bean enchilada (too bland). But everything else was really good, especially the cheese enchilada, which served as my own personal cheese fountain for the evening.
John: B
Tim: B

Dessert
John: If my alleged Mexican heritage has taught me anything, it’s that nothing beats a Mexican dessert. Now Tim complained about the fried ice cream, which I don’t understand. People are executed in Mexico for complaining about fried ice cream. I absolutely love it. If you’ve never had it, it’s vanilla ice cream with a crispy outer crust that tastes kind of like a soft honey-filled, delightful graham cracker.

Then there are the churros, which are without a doubt, the culinary peak of Mexico. Imagine a piping hot fresh Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut, then pretend it’s actually crispy and not soft, and then imagine that doughnut dipped in cinnamon and sugar and bam, you have what may be the tastiest dessert ever.

Tim: If complaining about fried ice cream is a capital offense, then strap me into the electric chair and light it up. The next time you want some cornflakes just eat them with a scoop of ice cream in place of the milk and you’ll get a good idea of what fried ice cream tastes like. I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing. I merely observe and report.

The churros were awesome though. And I can say that despite the fact that I was so full by the time dessert came around I thought I was going to burst. And I didn’t even have any beer.
John: A
Tim: B

Final Impression
John: One thing we didn’t try was the margaritas. So I apologize to any of you ladies out there (and men) if you’re big margarita drinkers. El Azteca had an interesting selection and, according to my friend Geoff, it’s a great place to hit for an after work cocktail. I should note though, that Geoff is usually wrong about everything, except drinking related matters. He is to alcohol what Ryan Seacrest is to American Idol (I’m not sure that makes sense).

Mexican is definitely something you have to be in the mood for and I don’t recommend it after a long workout. However, you’ll have no excuse not to be there in two weeks for a little thing I like to call Cinco de Mayo.

Tim: Apparently there are five other El Aztecas in the metro Atlanta area, which made me wonder what was so special about it that brought about franchising. The service was good, the atmosphere was nice, and the food was typical American Mexican fare. There was nothing wrong with it, but it wasn’t eye-popping amazing. So if you’re in the neighborhood go check it out.
John: B
Tim: B