Johnny's Pizza 

First Impression

John: Before I start, let me offer some important advice: Altork was depressed when he wrote this review. I don't know how reliable his reviewing skills are this time around. His emotionless, cold heart, wasn't feeling anything, so I can't be sure he could taste anything. We went to Johnny's on Thursday night, which also happened to be game one of the Braves-Giants playoff series. By the seventh inning, Tim looked like his pet turtle had died in a dishwashing accident. It was ugly. Anyway, back to Johnny's. Normally we try and visit non-chains, but since we're out of restaurants to review (I'm only slightly exaggerating), we decided to visit a chain this week. It was either Applebee's or Johnny's, so we chose Johnny's. And I must say, I was impressed. There were framed athletic jerseys on the wall, there were games for the kids and I think I counted five HD televisions. Johnny's isn't a sports bar, so five HD TV's was an unexpected surprise.

Tim: Because I've lived in various locations on the north side of Atlanta, I've been to Johnny's before. There was one right across the street from us when we lived in Sandy Springs. There's one right across the street from us where we live in Woodstock. But for some reason we went to the one near Windward Parkway. I like Johnny's because it's basically a poor man's Mellow Mushroom. It doesn't have the whole stoner theme, but the atmosphere is still laid back. When we went there were basically two girls taking care of the whole restaurant. And they were pros. I think they had as good a chance of scoring a run against Tim Lincecum as the Braves did that night.

John: 8

Tim: 8

Appetizer

John: Our appetizer consisted of garlic toast, marinara sauce and feta cheese. Basically, you put the cheese-sauce combination on top of the toast and eat. There wasn't anything fancy about it. I will say this though, the cheese and sauce was such a tasty combination that once the toast was gone, Tim and I both ate the marinara-feta mixture out of the dish.

Tim: The unique thing about feta cheese is that it doesn't melt. It maintains its crumb-like texture regardless of the temperature that it is served at. Which sort of flies in the face of the whole purpose of a pizza place. They exist to find ways to serve melted cheese to guests. And, yes, I picked out every single crumb of feta from the marinara before the night was over.

Baked Feta and Marinara: John 6.5, Tim 8

Entrées

John: If you go to a good pizza restaurant, then they should have a lot of different options for pizzas. Johnny's does. I counted 20 pizzas on the menu and there might have been more, but I wouldn't know because I stopped counting at 20. Counting to 20 is laboring; I actually got tired doing it. Anyway we ordered four slices (warning: the slices are huge): the Mexican Border, the Steak and Cheese, the BBQ Chicken and the Johnny's Meat Deluxe. My family hates eating pizza with me because I'm one of those guys that picks off the toppings and eats them. I did this at Johnny's and you couldn't even tell. I would eat the toppings and then there would be more toppings underneath the toppings I ate. The Mexican pizza was my favorite (beef, jalapenos, onion, tomatoes); the BBQ chicken (red onions, chicken strips, mozzarella cheese) was a close second. If you order the BBQ chicken pizza, keep in mind that they use BBQ sauce instead of pizza sauce, our server reminded us 19 times.

Tim: We also had something called the Bronx Bomber, which is a bowl of sausage, pepperoni and meatballs in a piping hot bath of marinara sauce, covered with mozzarella cheese. It's not for those with a weak heart. Bronx Bomber is the name of the dish, but it is also a nickname for the New York Yankees. I hate the New York Yankees. When the Yankees play, I don't just hope that they lose. I hope that they all trip on the dugout steps, land face first and dislodge a tooth. Needless to say, we ordered the Bronx Bomber just so I could throw it on the floor and smash it into the carpet. We also had a chicken wrap as a healthy alternative to the smorgasbord of melted cheese and processed meat. It had lettuce in it. I didn't touch it.

Pizza: John 7, Tim 8

Wrap: John 9, Tim N/A

Bronx Bomber: John 7, Tim 2 (It actually was good but I have to say I hated it because of the name.)

Dessert

John: Selection-wise, Johnny's was definitely lacking in the dessert department. I think McDonald's has a bigger dessert selection than Johnny's. There were three things to choose from: cheese cake, ice cream, Cinnamon Knots. We went with the knots. One second after biting into them, I forgot all about Johnny's meager dessert choices. The bread was warm, it was served in a cinnamon butter platter and then there was frosting to dip the bread in. As I'm sure most of you know, anything served in a cinnamon-butter platter is good.

Tim: When I have the chance to order food that consists of nothing but white bread, cinnamon, sugar, butter and icing, I have to order that thing. I drink fruit smoothies in the morning. I eat tuna in a spinach wrap for lunch. And I eat cheese and butter and sugar for dinner. That's a pretty balanced diet if you ask me.

John: 7

Tim: 7

Final Impression

John: Tim and I were a sideshow. We didn't bring any special guests to eat with us this week, so when customers walked by the two of us and saw nine entrées at our table, they would just stare. It was like we were conjoined twins. One thing we didn't do at Johnny's was order beer. With the Braves offense playing so bad, Tim was too depressed to drink. Which is ironic because usually people drink when they get depressed. Tim is the opposite. For you people that like alcohol with your pizza, Johnny's serves beer and wine.

Tim: Johnny's is a growing chain. And chains grow because people like them. It's like cliches. People use cliches because someone a long time ago figured out the best way to say something, so everyone just uses that way to say it instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. That's what Johnny's is. It's a place that figured out how to do pizza and decided to keep doing it that way in a bunch of different locations. Including right across the street from wherever I live.

John: 7.5

Tim: 8