By Debora Hornbuckle/ Staff

What is age appropriate and why should we care? Age appropriate used to be a term geared toward children, but now we use it more frequently in terms of mature women.  Are women over 40 trying to look like they are in their 20’s or do they look great for their age? 

In my industry I am trained to look for a woman’s best features and compliment them. I have noticed that most of us are more attractive then we feel and that it doesn’t take much work to look even better. Technology, time and finances have given us the ability to look younger and more attractive than in any previous time in history.  We can hire personal trainers, inject Botox and collagen, have chemical peels, and cosmetic surgery.  Even having a variety of fruits and vegetables available year round contributes to our overall appearance.   But when do we know how to draw the line?

COUGAR POWER

"Cougar", for those of you unfamiliar with this term, is an attractive woman usually over 40 that "preys" on much younger men.  Heather Locklear was recently referred to as a “Cougar” on a late night talk show. She was flattered but I was distracted by her overly blonde hair, her Taylor Swift curls -- the same extensions as Carrie Underwood had last year, and the same very short dress as Beyonce. She was pumped with was so much Botox she looked like she had a double chin.  Did she look fantastic for her age? To me the answer is, no.

 In trying to emulate her younger peers, she epitomized the appearance of "trying to look young".  She would have looked absolutely beautiful and softer with more depth of color in her hair; maybe a fringe around the face and a more sophisticated style of dress would have been just as attractive.  Then she would have been able to sit comfortably!

Courtney Cox of the new show "Cougar Town" commented that she is "someone confident in her own skin."  Watching her interview over the internet, I saw a woman who has toned down her black hair to a lighter brown around the face. She talked about her rigorous work-out routine, and her arms look great, but one can tell she is not trying to maintain college weight.  Her style of dress is not overly provocative and though you can tell she has had work done to her face, she still looks balanced.  But for those of us not in view of the camera, let me give the following rendition.

AGE APPROPRIATE IS NOT

Wearing your daughters’ jeans, wearing the same hairstyle as your daughter, wearing a thong that shows, looking like "The Real Housewife of Anytown," or wearing the same make-up and hairstyle as you did twenty years ago. It doesn't work anymore.    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
AGE APPROPRIATE IS

Wearing a great pair of jeans with awesome shoes, great jewelry and a fun top, emphasizing your fantastic silhouette, and not showing very low cleavage, being sensual -- not sexy, and being well tailored (whether you are a size 2 or 16).  It's all about becoming comfortable with change.

It is always good to start with a general inventory of where you are in your life, i.e., a working mother, professional, or caretaker, and decide realistically what you are willing to do.  Because identifying your priorities can help the professionals help you look your best in the least amount of time.

SOME GENERAL TIPS

Have someone help you break out of your comfort zone every once in awhile. Dress for your body type. Invest in well made undergarments.  If you like the current style and want to be appropriate, buy at the adult section and not the juniors. For the record, this is not to be confused with only shopping at Talbots.  In fact, maintaining a current fashion is youthful.  It shows you are not burying your head in the sand.  Walking around looking like the cast of "Desperate Housewives" at the mall is… desperate. Please know the fashions today are not the ideal for most of us women. If you ever watch the old movies, the clothes were made for the women, not the women for the clothes.

HAIR

Reasons for not wearing your daughter's style­: This basically is about drastic high -lights and overuse of the flat-iron.  If your hair is too straight, it can draw attention to other straight lines in the face which most of us do not want. Picking a style with a little bounce or curl will be much more flattering.  I think one of the most important guidelines for over 40 is to keep attention focused on the eye and cheekbone area. This keeps others looking upward and not noticing things that may be falling.  Even for those of you who enjoy long hair; ladies, even Stevie Nicks finally got some bangs cut!  This is the time to have fun with color.  Just keep a complimentary tone close to your skin. If you do not have grey yet, you may have noticed your hair is duller and not as shiny.  Unfortunately, this is the beginning of the graying process, so you may need to consider if it is time to switch from high-lights to overall color.   And though the rule of thumb is to go lighter, because of change in skin tone, you can go gradually lighter.  Ask your stylist for their opinion.  Meryl Streep is a good example of someone not to blonde.

MAKE-UP

For an instant and inexpensive way to get an eye-lift, fill in brows that are thinning with a shadow.  Then try buying a soft brown powder or bronzer to put on your brow bone and cheek to contour and give definition to your face. Try switching your black eyeliner to eggplant or brown.  To counteract droopiness in the eyes and thinning lashes, experiment with demi-false eyelashes (they are more natural).  And no more pink lipstick!  Instead try a pink-brown or pink-peach lipstick and use a gloss for some pop.

Looking fabulous over 40 is about finding acceptance for ourselves and about realizing we will never be perfect and then extending that grace to others around us.  When we have found that balance, we can give freely to others and become beautiful in their eyes.  And for those of us who are over 40 and married, the sexiest thing we can do for the man in our life is to say, "Honey, I’m proud of you!"

Even if it is for just taking out the garbage.